I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
