I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
