you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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