dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
