you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
