Will you blow on my dice?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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