Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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