you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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