First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
