I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
