i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
