i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
this hospital has no fireball
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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