Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We need to get me chipped asap
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
