Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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