what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
