no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
