We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
