Please, let me fuck your mom
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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