Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
