You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize