I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
there is puke in my bra ... again
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
