Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
