Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
