I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize