We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
