just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize