Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize