Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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