Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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