Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
