I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
