i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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