Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You were trust falling into bushes
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
