There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
