See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
third nipple confirmed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize