They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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