I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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