so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
