her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
