Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
