The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
