Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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