she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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