i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
