Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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