I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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