Please, let me fuck your mom
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
