You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
