I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
