yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
