11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
