I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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