They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm too high and old for this...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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