I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
