another moral hangover. fuck.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
