I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
