Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
