I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
